So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
