when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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