Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
