I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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