Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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