i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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