are you still at the devil's house?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
