So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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