I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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