Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
