I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize