so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
