I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
