What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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