He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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