I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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