first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
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Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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