In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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