the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
