talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
