I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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