I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
