I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
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ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
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I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize