Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize