i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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