I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
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she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
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I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.