And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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