did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
