Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
