i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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