His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
