did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
