Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
