why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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