guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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