U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
