I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
