We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
