It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
