bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
