She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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