literally had 100 drinks last night.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
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If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
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i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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