Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
