y did u give ur computer a hand job?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Randomize
