I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
