i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
