Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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