You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
