Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
