I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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