New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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