Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize