that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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