I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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