Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
