dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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