Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently you make a good broom.

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  (919): Apparently you make a good broom. http://tfl.nu/3otj
  Replies (8) Good night (578) Bad night (762)
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  (714): View more from California

  i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.

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  (714): i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing. http://tfl.nu/3dga
  Replies (12) Good night (527) Bad night (3536)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience

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  (905): In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience http://tfl.nu/48b7
  Replies (125) Good night (5672) Bad night (1236)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate

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  (617): Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate http://tfl.nu/lx6z
  Replies (61) Good night (1052) Bad night (5568)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.

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  (407): I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin. http://tfl.nu/d7w8
  Replies (7) Good night (3945) Bad night (1087)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie

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  (860): ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie http://tfl.nu/a0bb
  Replies (5) Good night (3020) Bad night (796)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter

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  (636): there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter http://tfl.nu/6rqt
  Replies (3) Good night (2379) Bad night (929)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"

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  (252): I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong" http://tfl.nu/l3k0
  Replies (6) Good night (2174) Bad night (645)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.

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  (847): Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing. http://tfl.nu/45r1
  Replies (1) Good night (885) Bad night (343)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago

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  (303): He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago http://tfl.nu/p1nu
  Replies (12) Good night (691) Bad night (1380)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving

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  (641): and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/ilw7
  Replies (1) Good night (650) Bad night (346)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.

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  (561): I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/c2xb
  Replies (11) Good night (265) Bad night (1049)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.

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  (403): Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts. http://tfl.nu/53ih
  Replies (4) Good night (623) Bad night (230)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?

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  (267): The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages? http://tfl.nu/e59q
  Replies (3) Good night (638) Bad night (256)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign

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  (717): He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign http://tfl.nu/lo7q
  Replies (3) Good night (867) Bad night (164)

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