he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sorry about my life...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."