Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"

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  (706): i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!" http://tfl.nu/rg7b
  Replies (164) Good night (1830) Bad night (3391)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes

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  (508): the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes http://tfl.nu/rtqh
  Replies (6) Good night (922) Bad night (3679)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.

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  (409): First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance. http://tfl.nu/3lur
  Replies (32) Good night (9766) Bad night (2097)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.

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  (740): While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day. http://tfl.nu/7t04
  Replies (37) Good night (6069) Bad night (1724)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.

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  (240): The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week. http://tfl.nu/o9bn
  Replies (13) Good night (2969) Bad night (1577)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I've been living off of popsicles and broth.

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  (703): I've been living off of popsicles and broth. http://tfl.nu/8x3l
  Replies (6) Good night (1135) Bad night (1725)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.

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  (740): I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am. http://tfl.nu/gox1
  Replies (2) Good night (1911) Bad night (666)
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  (845): View more from New York

  This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.

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  (845): This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way. http://tfl.nu/f18r
  Replies (3) Good night (1320) Bad night (753)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  how did operation slutty penguin go?

  (619): View more from California

  pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter

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  (303): how did operation slutty penguin go? (619): pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter http://tfl.nu/uigh
  Replies (6) Good night (2762) Bad night (489)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.

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  (920): These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice. http://tfl.nu/xvwn
  Replies (0) Good night (727) Bad night (308)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...

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  (508): You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes... http://tfl.nu/do6f
  Replies (1) Good night (844) Bad night (418)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.

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  (214): I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing. http://tfl.nu/945s
  Replies (14) Good night (1626) Bad night (309)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.

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  (330): FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me. http://tfl.nu/jifr
  Replies (3) Good night (525) Bad night (267)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.

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  (248): I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl. http://tfl.nu/rz4s
  Replies (1) Good night (857) Bad night (410)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.

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  (317): That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT. http://tfl.nu/8h80
  Replies (4) Good night (1146) Bad night (319)

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