Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
