Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet