Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
