I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.