Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just invented taco cereal.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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