when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
