So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
and she was petting her beer can
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize